Day 2! I feel perfectly fine. Finer than you.

Since I ate the exact same 3 meals that I ate on Day 1, I’ll refrain from re-posting those. And like I said, I feel fine. Like, perfectly stable and fine. Which is great! But boring.

So instead today I will talk about what is so far my faaaaaaaaaavorite part of the Whole30 diet, and that is GOOD. FATS.

Whereas the Game On diet wants to you restrict your good fats to just a sigh, THIS diet feels like the devil sitting on your shoulder and smirking while he whispers just the dirtiest shit in your ear.

In Game On, from what I understood (and from what my fellow Game On teammates seemed to agree with), when you’re asked to measure your fats to be “about the size of your thumb”, they’re talking about from the bottom knuckle to the tip. And if your good fat is an oil (like olive oil), they want you to measure from your SECOND knuckle to the tip. Yeah. That’s…that’s not an exciting amount of fat.

Whereas Whole30? EXCITING amount of fat. Kind of SCARY amount of fat, to be honest.

Look at this chart!!

Look at that! They include the BALL of your thumb when measuring out the **BUTTER** (FUCKING! BUTTER!) they require you to consume in one meal!! An entire HALF of an avocado!! More coconut than anyone would ever WANT to consume in one sitting!! I WISH I liked OLIVES but I DON’T!! I mean HI THERE, DREAM DIET.

So! To start with, I made ghee. Yes, you can buy it jarred, but since we already had a rather sizable quantity of butter on hand from Trey’s baking days (which now feel so long ago…sigh…), I decided to give it a go myself.

Making ghee (aka “clarifying butter”) simply consists of cubing your butter into even cubes and letting them melt over medium-low heat until you see these little white blops floating up. Those are dairy milk fat solids, and they are the enemy. You simply skim them off to create clarified butter.

HOWEVER. It was unclear to me when the butter would stop producing these blop solids. I skimmed and skimmed and skimmed and ugh can you please be done now? The final step was to strain it through cheesecloth to catch any remaining solids, which I didn’t have, so we used a strainer with a coffee filter instead. It soooort of worked, but mostly the coffee filter caught the solids on the paper and I was able to sort of “pour” the clarified butter liquid off rather than it actually filtering through. Then I stored it in a salsa jar.

Do I recommend this process? Not particularly. But it is cheaper than buying jarred ghee and if you already have the butter in the house, go for it.

Next up? MAYO! And not just any mayo. If you’ve never had homemade mayo, HONEY. You have not LIVED. It’s SO creamy and has far more pronounced-yet-somehow-still-subtle layers of flavor balancing between lemony, eggy, and mustard-y. It absolutely puts any of the jarred stuff to shame and it could not be easier…if you have the right equipment. I don’t go in for that whole “slowly drizzling oil in via food processor” schtick, but this tried and true 2-minute method I learned from one of my kitchen heroes, J. Kenji Lopez-Alt.

I’d done this once before about 6 or 7 years ago, but since homemade mayo only lasts for about a week* in the fridge (and I can’t eat a whole damn cup and a half that quickly), I never made it again despite absolutely LOVING it.

But. On this diet? Yeah. Yep. We’re going to eat all the mayo.

(*Also my Whole30 book is telling me homemade mayo is good for up to a week AFTER the Sell By date on the eggs. That significantly lengthens Mayo Time, baby!)

Here’s the only suitable blending cup in my apartment, kept from my old Magic Bullet. Not another shaker/glass/personal blender cup/etc. fits the head of the immersion blender like this one does. I am very, very grateful that I kept this cup.

Alright, everyone into the cup!

…Boy it’s a whole other thing when you see deconstructed mayo, ain’t it. Somewhere Daniel Plainview is trying to usurp my lease. #oiljokes

But just a quick spin-and-pull later…WHITE GOLD.

Like mama always said, “Finish all your mayo or you can’t have anymore mayo!”

Tomorrow, I’ll show you what I actually did to the mayo besides pretend to drink it BUT ALSO THE DIET IS BASICALLY TELLING ME DRINKING THE MAYO IS OKAY SO BUZZ OFF. #buzzoffmymayo