Hot Tip: If you’re in the midst of a round of Whole30 and you’re feeling bummed because going to restaurants or bars with your friends is at best a struggle and at worst fucking depressing; if even going to the movies feels like its had some joy sapped out of it; then I highly recommend escape rooms as a social activity. I’ve done 2 in the last week, and they’re hella fun.

OK! So today was President’s Day and, in an unexpected turn of events, I got the day off from work. “Oh my god, Dana, what did you do with this gift of a free day?” I cleaned my damn apartment! WHOOOOOOO! OK, to be fair, I spent today cleaning my apartment because I let myself laze around the past couple days, and I let myself laze around the last couple days so that I’d have the energy to go for a hike and then clean my apartment today.

Before my hike, I needed to eat something. I did not want to eat a whole meal right before walking up the side of a mountain, and I did not want to wait around after I ate either, so I chowed down an Rx Bar with some cold brew and headed out (with water and emergency snacks; I don’t care if it’s a mountain in the middle of Hollywood, I hike prepared).

(‘Sup. I’m outdoorsy AF.)

Once I got back, I was HUNGRY.

MEAL #1

My plate-mapping may look messed up, but that’s just the way my apple slices are laid out; it was a fist-sized apple, a.k.a. “lunchbox size” at Ralph’s.

MINOR VICTORY: Those were the last of a batch of problematic hard-boiled eggs that were a pain in the balls to peel every single time. Finishing the carton today felt like I had won, triumphing over every shard of eggshell that threatened to slice my thumb.

Chilled, watched a movie (THAT HIKE WAS NOT EASY).

MEAL #2

I’m back on those TJs turkey burgers. I tried to switch it up for fish, but all their fish patties had a ton of extra ingredients in them, including “tapioca syrup,” which sounded like a no-no. And since I’m really not feeling red meat on a just-because basis, it was back to the turkey burgers for me. (IDGAF, they’re frickin delicious, and they’re just turkey, salt, and rosemary.) Wrapped in lettuce with a smear of mayo, tomato paste (my work-around for ketchup), and mustard. (I considered adding onion, but that would have been another thing to slice, and fuuuuuuck that.) Plus, mini bell peppers (I LOVE THEM) with spicy guac. BLAMMO.

(Shout-out to my pal Elyse, who called out the mustard vulva that was inadvertently slapped on my burger. It’s a LOT more obvious when the pic is rotated 1/4 turn to the right.)

I’ve taken a bunch of shortcuts this week and am eating a lot of raw veg, but I still feel like I am basically always either cooking, eating, or washing dishes. I don’t have a dishwasher in my apartment, so going through all this cooking and eating at home is made EXTRA STRENUOUS by virtue of having to scrub each pot, pan, plate, utensil, meat thermometer, veggie peeler, etc. by hand. My hands are SO DRY. Between the apartment cleaning, constant dish-washing, and cooking-related hand-washing — I love roast chicken, but prepping one means you’re basically washing your hands every 30 seconds for a while — my skin is PARCHED.

Anyhow, like I said, cleaned my apartment; good job, Dana. Then I took a bath as a reward for having done all that hard work… which means I need to re-clean my tub, but ah well. (IT NEVER GODDAMN ENDS.) While I was soaking, I busted out the sheet mask I bought yesterday, which was the Tony Moly Red Wine Pore Care Mask. Yes, even though I can’t drink red wine right now, it was a comfort to have its extracts so close to me.

(THIS IS MY LIFE.)

Then dinner; leftovers from last night. But OH GURL…

MEAL #3

Here’s the thing: I got that chicken roasted glorious and perfect, but around it, I’d scattered sweet potato, red cabbage, yellow onion, and ghee, along with a prodigious amount of salt. I pulled the chicken out of the roasting pan to the cutting board, then tasted the veggies…

They were a masterpiece. Between the stuff I’d thrown in plus the chicken drippings, cooked for about an hour and 20 minutes, those veggies were divine, melt-in-your-mouth perfection. What you see in the dark mysterious corner of the plate are the leftovers I forced myself not to devour last night. The flavor on those veggies rocked my mouth’s world so hard, I’m a little worried that my tastebuds are pregnant.

And then there’s perfectly cooked chicken breast and an arugula side salad, but really, it’s the roasted veggies’ world and the rest of us are just filling up the rest of the plate.

Roasted potatoes for my post-workout snacks this week, then went to the escape room. Then came home, did more dishes (UGH), and cooked even more! Yes, I needed to boil up another round of eggs. I considered getting the cooked & peeled ones from TJs but a) there are only 6 to a bag, and I’d need to have gotten 2 at that high markup, b) I like to buy the Vital Farms eggs because the company seems really respectably legit and humane, and c) I’m fucking stubborn, OK?

So the eggs are cooked, the potatoes are cooked, but do you know what the bitch of it is? I still need to cook MORE veggies to round out my dinners, since there was a limited amount of the cabbage and sweet potatoes. Got cauliflower I need to cut and roast… and you know what? I think I’m gonna do that Wednesday, since tomorrow, I’m going straight over to the mall after work to finally upgrade my phone. Which means I need to shuffle food timing, because nothing can just BE EASY and I can’t just DO THINGS. Ugh.

Alright, after having swilled plenty of LaCroix today, I’m trying out a new tea I spotted (yes, at Trader Joe’s): Peppermint Cinnamon Herbal. Pretty mild and mellow, but nice, and a good evening tea.

#stillnotwine

P.S. Bathtub LaCroix is not as great as Shower Beer, but it’ll do in a pinch.