To Health With This

Two Die-Hard Foodies Take On The Whole30

Two Die-Hard Foodies Take On The Whole30

DANA: Day 29

I have had to remind 3 people today that February is 28 days long, hence I am not done yet.

And as I am not done yet, I’m going to refrain from getting reflective yet.

One of the things that I’ve gotten a bit crazy with, in light of not being able to cheer myself up with foodstuffs, is shopping. And watching TV. I’ve also been a lot better with exercise and have gotten back on track with writing regularly (as you can see), but I told myself that, in lieu of edible treats, I was going to take myself out for a massage, a manicure, maybe even one of those Korean spa scrubdowns!

I did precisely none of those things. I did buy myself an adorable carry-on suitcase though.

So I told myself that today I would at least go get that manicure, which I never do. I get all stubborn and “I’m not so fancy that I cain’t paint mah own durn fingernails.” (When I get stubborn, I become Calamity Jane, apparently.) But I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow, and I figure HEY, why not get myself balls-to-the-wall pretty and get my nails done too.

Didn’t happen, people.

Had a salon picked; they do walk-ins, but I called ahead just to check their availability a bit in advance and put my name in so I could go in on my lunch break. My coworker does this all the time with zero difficulty.

Today, they were slammed and couldn’t get me in ’til 3:30, too late for a lunch break.

Curses, foiled… on my only attempt.

And I’m trying real hard not to be all “SEE , THE UNIVERSE KNOWS I DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE MY NAILS PAINTED BY A PROFESSIONAL,” but here we are.

Whatever, dude, I’ll paint my own gol’ durn nails tomorrow.

But the food!

OK, I increased my post-workout snack a bit from what left me crazy hungry yesterday, and felt a lot more stable. Whew.


Still so effing good. I promise I will write up and post my official recipe for this thing. I may have actually found a breakfast that satisfies my brain as much as my yogurt bowl at last. This weirdo breakfast bowl… It’s just really good. It’s exactly sweet enough, and I also like that I’ve figured out how to prep 2 days worth at once.


A slaw-based lunch was a dumb call and now I know it. It’s just a lot of raw cruciferous veggies to be eating all at one. Not only is it not particularly satisfying, it also frankly leaves me farty AF. *shrug*

(You are lucky we made it this far into the week without me talking about farts. It’s been 7 days since my last fart reference. You’re welcome.)

It’s 3:30. I’m grumpy and want chocolate.

Now I have LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It” running through my head with the lyrics replaced with “I’m grumpy and want chocolate.”

Girl look at that chocolate
Girl look at that chocolate
Girl look at that chocolate
I want some

When I walk in the kitchen, chocolate’s what I see
Everybody stops and they staring at chocolate
I got chocolate in my chocolate and I ain’t afraid to chocolate
I’m grumpy and want chocolate
I’m grumpy and want chocolate


It was another leisurely “OH MY GOD GET HOME REHEAT SOME FOOD SHOVE IT IN YOUR DINNER HOLE AND GET BACK OUT THE DOOR” kind of evening. I snapped this right before I slapped guac onto the salmon, shoveled it down along with the kale, and grabbed the carrot to eat in my car, strolling outside with it clenched between my teeth like a cartoon mobster’s cigar.

And now it’s time for me to pass out for a few hours because I’ve got stuff to do tomorrow and then WOOHOO, this grand experiment is over!

But first, I sleep.

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